So, blogging isn't exactly a spiritual gift of mine. You may have noticed, since most of the posts here are from my wife! But, it is incredibly hot outside, my eyes are tired of reading, and I can't bring myself to watch daytime television....So, here it goes.
I have been living practically for way too long. The past few months I have allowed my mind to disassociate from dwelling on, wrestling with, or contemplating much more than what I need to be doing in the coming half hour. If my thought didn't apply practically to what I was supposed to be doing, then I just let it slip away. This left me with tons of stories about walking my dog, places I had eaten, movies I'd seen or pop songs that sound incredibly similar (California Girls, Just Dance, Your Love is my Drug). However, it left my mouth completely vacant of anything much deeper than that.
Truth is, I had been living off of recent experiences with Jesus and not having any current conversations with him. Any spiritual conversation would have to point to what Jesus had done in my life and not what he was currently doing. Not because he wasn't currently doing anything, but like I said... I was far too busy deciphering which k$sha songs to put on my next playlist to acknowledge the amazing things that He was doing all around me!
This had a few implications...
1. I began to feel like a bad Christian.
I am a pastor for crying out loud! I'm supposed to have this stuff down right. I should know the big words, always carry my Bible, and never admit my faults... Uhhhh, oops!
2. I began to feel like a bad husband.
Being recently married, it is difficult learning how to be a husband. Luckily I have had many great examples in my life. Most of the men in my family and my close friends are have displayed what it looks like to be a Christian husband. But because I was relying on my own practical experience and not Jesus to show me how to love my wife, I began to feel the tension.
3. I began to feel like a bad pastor.
When you are supposed to lead others Spiritually but are feeling spiritually disconnected yourself, it leaves you feeling like a hypocrite. Thankfully, God has brought two solid dudes beside me (Noah and Josh) to encourage me and correct me.
The Good News
The Gospel provides a way back to being connected with God. Because Jesus came and died, I don't have to sit and marinate in hypocrisy! I can confess it to him and he is faithful to forgive me of it!
I have been having breakfast with my friend Ryan every week for the past month or so, studying what a Gospel centered life looks like. Jesus has used those breakfasts, the conversation not the food, to remind me how good it is to trust in His finished work on the Cross.
The foods not bad either... Thanks for paying this morning, Ryan!
I say this, not to focus on where my head has been, but rather to focus on God's patience with this fool that he would call his son.
Greatful for the Gospel,
Todd
t help OR if you don’t have those things, just show up!!